Frequently Asked Questions

The concept

1. So, what is a bike hash anyway?

The Idea

A bike hash, or "bash" is a bunch of people ("bashers" or "hounds") cycling around in an area (typically an oil palm or rubber estate here in Malaysia) following bits of paper (the "paper trail") which has been laid earlier by the "hare". To make things more exciting, the paper trail includes a system of checkpoints ("checks") and false trails ("falsies"). A bit like treasure hunt meets orienteering, if you like, with a touch of sado-masochism thrown in every now and then. The checks and falsies also serve to keep the group more or less together in the estate, and so making the hare's job of making sure all the hounds stay "found" easier.

The Adventure Spirit

For mountain bikers, part of the attraction of the bike hash is that it allows you access to new trails, as no two hashes are ever the same. If the hare is particularly adventurous, you may even be biking in an area totally new to mountain bikes, and so bike hashing is ideal for those who find racing on a closed loop antithetical to the mountain biking spirit of adventure.

The Rush and the Pain

Many bashers are hashers and runners too. To these people, hashing on mountain bikes offers the exhilaration and adrenalin rush that is difficult to emulate while trail running, without risk of serious ankle injury. Reformed runners who turn to bashing tend also to enjoy the self-flagellation aspect of an endurance sport like mountain biking — thus completing the transformation to an adrenalin junkie, without necessarily giving up the pleasures of being an endorphin addict.

The Accessibility

But while it is true that the bike hash has its fair share of certifiable cuckoos, the bike hash is also intended to be accessible to riders of all abilities. Because there is always two "runs" — a Long and a Scenic — you are always assured of a ride that is appropriate for your level of ability. It is an unwritten charter of the KLMBH that its hashes be suitable as a family activity, and so loutish drunkenness is happily absent at the post-ride drinks.

Hash History

"Hashing" evolved in pre-war Malaya by idle mat salehs who felt compelled to justify their drinking habits in ways other than the occasional rugby game, and is now an international activity with more than 1000 hash chapters all over the world. The Hash House Harriers has been famously described as a drinking club for people with a running problem on account of the aprés-hash activity of imbibing on the amber anaesthetic. Click here for an official account of the history of the Hash House Harriers.

Check out the Idiot's Guide on how to set a bash.

Membership

1a. Is the bike hash suitable for a beginner or "newbie"?

We get asked this question a lot. Yes, the bike hash is suitable for beginners, because each hash has two rides (the Long and Scenic), the latter of which is intended to be within the abilities of outdoorsy children from age 7 upwards. Beginners may start by riding the Scenic, and once sufficient fitness and skill are attained, may then attempt the Long. See also No. 13 below.

1b. I'm a buff, super-fit triathelete/road racer/ultramarathoner. Is the bike hash suitable for supermen like me?

Yes, but the bike hash ain't a race. It's about working together to solve the checks. See also No. 17a below.

2. So, duh, how do I join?

Easy. Just fill in an application form and bring the form to the next bash. Pay the membership fee at the bash, and voila! you are a member.

3. Eh, but how do I know where the next bash is?

Easy. Just follow the directions that have been posted on the website.

4. What if I can't find my way to the start of the bash?

That's Ok. The directions serve as a filter to weed out people who will likely be lost during the ride. If you get lost on your way, may we suggest golf.

5. Less of the lip, please. How much to join?

At the time of writing (Jan 2003), a measly RM50 for adults and RM20 for young persons below the age of 18. Membership lasts from January to December. US$1.00 = RM3.80, exchange controls permitting.

6. What does membership of the bash get me?

Some freebies, like a mug, t-shirts, caps, car stickers etc. Basically, each year's committee will conjure up an item of dubious utility to be emblazoned with the fetching bash logo. Like a beer cozy or something. Membership also entitles you to be eligible for the end-of-year raffle at the hash annual dinner. Previous grand prizes have included a suspension fork, and a Garmin GPS receiver. No kidding!

7. What if I want to ride, but am not sure yet whether I want to become a member?

Easy. You can ride as a guest of a member by paying a guest fee (that is, as at January 2003, RM10 for adults). If after the ride you decide that the bash is the bees' knees, the most fun you have had with your clothes on, then join as a member by paying the difference.

8. As a guest, what does my RM10 get me?

It ensures that if you get lost, the hares will ride back in to look for you.

Equipment

9. What equipment must I have to ride on the bash?

You must have:

Optional, but helpful, items are:

10. Do I need an expensive bicycle?

In the words of Keith Bontrager: Light, Strong and Cheap. Pick any two. Don't expect it to be light unless you are prepared to spend serious money. Try selling those golf clubs.

A very rough guide:

RM 1000: Consider this entry level for hashing. It gets you a bike that will take the abuse and work for a while. If you only ride it once a month and take good care of it, that should be a long while. (If you don't take care of it, it won't last at all and it won't be worth fixing. Do I sound like your mother?)

RM 2500: This is entry level for serious Mountain Biking. Spent carefully, it gets you a bike with a frame that's worth keeping — just upgrade the components when they wear out (and they do, no matter what you spend). If you intend to ride seriously and often, this is where you want to start.

RM 5000: Time for a reality check. Up to this point the quality of the beast improves significantly with every dollar spent. Beyond this you get into serious esoterica and the sky is the limit. You'll find yourself paying obscene amounts for microscopic savings in weight or improvements in strength or handling. But if the sport is a passion for you, congratulations on your choice. You can have the Mountain Bike Equivalent of a:

(pick one) for a fraction of the cost.

11. How do I choose a bicycle?

Get one that fits. Stand over the top tube and make sure that there is ample clearance between the tube and the crown jewels. 2-3 inches is good. Sit on the saddle and get the shop to adjust the saddle height for you. Reach for the handlebars. Too stretched out? Get the shop to fit a shorter stem. Typically, a 16-inch or medium frame will fit someone who is about 5'7" to 5'9".

12. Where do I shop for bike stuff?

Check out the list of shops listed on the links and resources page. Some of them will even let you rent a bike, if you ask nicely.

12a. Can you tell me which bicycle brand or model I should buy?

Because the stocks of bike shops vary from time to time, it is impossible for us to give specific recommendations on particular makes or models of bikes. Your best bet is to bring a knowledgeable friend to the bike shop to help you out. If you are in need of a knowledgeable friend, e-mail me and I'll rent one to you for a reasonable fee.

Riding the Bash

13. Should I ride the Long or the Scenic?

The Long ride lasts 2 to 3 hours, if all goes well, and can be upwards of 30km long, although usually it is between 17 and 25km, depending on the terrain on which the trail is set. The aim of the Long, it appears, is to strike that delicate balance between (a) killing the hounds from dehydration and exhaustion and (b) testing their sense of humour.

By contrast, the Scenic ride is for people who are not into the pain thing. Generally, the Scenic ride is set so that a child of 8-10 years will be able to ride it — not necessarily easily (aah, we need to build their characters, after all), but complete it nonetheless. It lasts between 1 to 2 hours, and is capped at 13km. The terrain is not as "technical" and is less hilly than in the Long.

14. What do I do when I get to a checkpoint?

A checkpoint is usually a large pile of paper. Don't just sit there, check! The correct trail should continue within about 400 metres away from the checkpoint-in any direction, even backwards.

A checkpoint at which the correct trail continues slightly before you come to the checkpoint is called a backcheck. In some instances, the check may not be marked with a large pile of paper, but the trail of paper brings you around to a previously-ridden section of trail: this is called a loop or circular check. A solution to a loop check can be any trail that branches off from the loop. Unless, of course, it is a back-check loop-check, in which case you should grab the hare and hang him up on the nearest tree by his Lycra. For more information, check out the Idiot's Guide to Setting a Bash.

15. What do I do when I find the trail?

Shout "On on!" at the top of your lungs. It is also good practice to "break" the check-that is, picking up some of the paper that forms the check and laying it along towards the right trail. It's hash protocol to tear the paper to signify a check has been broken. Make sure you have the right trail though or else you'll have to pick up the paper and re-lay it.

16. How do I know if other people have found the trail?

Shout "Are you?" at the top of your lungs. If the answer is "On on!", then the trail has been found. If not, the answer should be "Checking!".

17. What is a false trail, and how can I tell?

A false trail is a nefarious device used by the hares to make sure that the FRBs (front-running bastards) do not stray too far ahead of the laggards. You know it is a falsie if:

17a. Do I get a prize if I finish first?

No dude, you've confused hashing with racing. If you want to race, please do not come to the hash. If you've checked, called on-on, filled in the checks after finding the trail, and still finished first, helmets off to you, bro. If you've finished first, but sucked someone's else's wheel through half the course, sat in the shade at the checks while others checked, or sneaked off on your own once you've solved the check, may bad things happen to you, like never being able to perfectly adjust your rear derailleur.

18. What if I get lost?

The first rule of riding is: NEVER, EVER, go off paper (except when you are checking, of course). If you go off paper, the hares will never be able to find you. If you are unable to find the continuation of the trail, backtrack or wait for the hare to appear. (If you choose to wait, you will most likely be immediately swarmed with mosquitoes — bring and use repellent.)

19. How will I know someone will look for me if I get lost?

If you have signed out at the beginning of the bash, the hares will know that you are still out there if you have not yet returned and signed in. (You sign out when you ride out to the trail, and you sign in when you come back in. Confusing? A bit. Rocket science? Maybe not.)

Remember, if you don't sign out, the hares will never look for you.

20. Dos and Don'ts

The following is a short list of dos and don'ts when riding on the hash:

Do:

Don't:
arrive at the On on site early (before 9.00am) try to repack your bottom bracket just before the ride starts
bring lots of water, some food, small change and adequate tools bum food, water and spare tubes off others
use sunblock and insect repellant wear worn-out bike shorts without anything underneath
know who the hares are and pay attention at the pre-ride briefing follow the wrong paper
stay on paper go off paper
check whenever you can sit at the checkpoint, expect others to check or ask the hare the way
break a check if you have found the correct trail sneak off down the correct trail without calling "On-on!"
be aware that there are riders behind you who might be trying to ride a section of trail that you are pushing up block the trail when others are trying to pass
look out for obstacles on the trail run over the base of oil palm fronds, as they are thorny
call your mom from time to time park your car in Bangsar on pasar malam night

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